Published by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform on Expected publication: May 14th 2015
One wedding. One curse? Disaster ever after…
A seven-years-bad-sex curse? Surely not! Yet something went wrong when rock singer Casey and drummer Alex got married on that beautiful yacht anchored off St Tropez in the south of France. Something went badly wrong. For even on their wedding night, the young couple discovers a complete and somewhat surprising inability to make love. Muddling through their honeymoon with a string of thin excuses for their predicament, the lovers defer finding a solution (and panicking) until the return to their home in London. After all, they married for life and to make rock music, not for the love of sex. Right?
But when they resume life as normal in London, all hell breaks loose. Increasingly frantic in their quest for release, the unhappy newlyweds embark on a string of hilarious and occasionally harmful antics that drives them, their band, and an assortment of random strangers to the brink of despair. But it ain’t over ‘til it’s over or, in this case… it ain’t over ‘til the newlyweds sing.
EXCERPT FROM 7 YEARS BAD SEX BY NICKY WELLS
RELEASES 14 MAY 2015!
There was a stunned silence in the room while Alex and Casey tried to assimilate the importance of this statement. She remembered all too well her conversation with Alex on the yacht after they had trawled through the wedding video. He had pointed out to her even then that she hadn’t looked at him.
Casey shivered. She caught Alex’s eye and saw nothing but utter confusion. Liza was still standing up, one fist raised in an air punch. Sasha had taken one of Casey’s hands into her own.
Eventually Alex spoke. ‘Maybe we didn’t look at each other. So what?’
Liza and Sasha shared another look. ‘The seven-years-bad-sex curse!’ they shouted as one.
Alex burst out laughing. ‘The seven-years-bad-sex curse?’ he repeated. ‘You’re taking the mickey, right?’
Myles was chuckling so hard, he toppled over sideways on the sofa and had to hold his stomach. ‘That’s why we had to rush over here? To tell them about a seven-years-bad-sex curse?’
‘Laugh all you want,’ Liza said calmly. ‘But you’re watching it in action.’
Casey swallowed hard. She didn’t believe in curses. They were nothing but delusory superstitions from the middle ages. But still, both Sasha and Liza looked utterly serious.
‘So—so what does that curse entail?’ Casey asked, her voice almost a whisper.
Sasha produced her smartphone and called up a website. ‘It says here,’ she said, ‘there’s a superstition in many parts of southern Europe about how not looking at each other when clinking glasses during a toast brings couples seven years bad sex.’ She angled her phone so that everyone could see the screen.
‘And you were in France when you committed this ritualistic mishap,’ Liza offered helpfully. ‘So that definitely applies.’
Let me just start by singing Nicky’s (she and I are on a first name bases cause I love to stalk her) praises! I love this gal’s writing. It’s scary though because you never know if your favorite authors are going to deliver.
But deliver she did!!! Fabulously.
This is AMAZING!
This is such a cute premise. Scary though! I was cringing while reading but I love how the couple, Casey and Alex, try so hard to work out their problems. They definitely have some faults and stumble a few times but never did I think, oh my goodness, I would never do that! And that is the appeal of Nicky’s writing. Seriously, I do not know how she does it but all of her characters are so real. And FUN! And so down to earth. This is why I can never put her books down.
Lately I have even been fighting a reading low. Nothing is working for me. Horror? Nope. Romance? Nope. Anything in between that does not have to do with real life? NOPE, nope, nope. And then I pick this book up and I did not want to put it down!
The only weird thing… sort of not really a critique. I wish the title was a bit different. It gives me conniptions! I had worries throughout the entire book, really. But, really even the disasters are quite hilarious! This couple just has absolutely everything go wrong that can go wrong! And there is a LOT that can go wrong. The laughs are laugh out loud, full on belly laughs, so beware if you are trying to drink coffee! It does have its serious moments but they are few!
In short: Absolutely loved everything about this. Once again Nicky Wells is able to put something together that is both deliciously funny and horrific at the same time! She’s a genius! I want a part two!