I received this book for free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People): Spiritual Advice for Modern Relationships by Meggan Watterson, Rinzler Lodro
Published by Hay House on September 15th 2015
Genres: Body, Mind & Spirit
How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) is a smart, hip guide for spiritual seekers who want to experience more love and stability in all forms of relationships. Told from the unique vantage points of authors Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler, this book explores staying anchored in the foundation of self-love as you navigate the natural (and often stormy) cycle of a relationship. Their dual perspectives as teachers and scholars of Christian mysticism and Buddhism make for a rich and fascinating dialogue that covers everything from sex, self-worth, falling in (and out of) love, deep friendships, to breakups—and how to maintain an open heart through it all. At its core, this book is about learning to love yourself no matter what. Meggan and Lodro suggest that you are worthy of love, both self-love and the love of others. They aren’t experts on how to get that man or lady to fall in love with you, nor are they experts on how to have “the perfect relationship.” They are spiritual teachers who know that relationships have a life of their own, and can speak to the human element of what it means to experience them fully. In the process, they share deeply personal, revealing, honest anecdotes and spiritual practices to assist you with the inevitable ebbs and flow of love in all its manifestations.
It’s fantastic to see two authors of very different backgrounds get together. I have always wondered why people that think that love is the best do not work together. It didn’t seem to make sense.
What stroke me most was something I read at the very beginning of the book, something I think it is hard for all of us to understand.
Love isn’t “deserved” as in if only I would have said the right thing, made the perfect gesture, or found a way to be more, to be good enough, then I would deserve love. But love isn’t like that. We don’t become worthy of love someday; we are worthy of love simply because we exist.
This is not something that many of us get though. I know I did not for a long time; and I still struggle with it. Knowing it though helps me to see it and I can now remind myself of this very thing. Having the confidence to know this and in yourself is the second chapter of the book.
I really enjoy how both authors tell their versions and anecdotes. The chapters are divided but in each it is easy to tell who is speaking. Although the versions and stories are different they agree on the most important things and the stories help to show that agreement while also explaining it.
I also really enjoy the explanation of meditation. I have always had a hard time meditating but many books just say to jump in without saying how hard it is going to be. These two not only explain that meditation can be difficult but that it WILL BE. Quieting the mind is one of the hardest things to do and they do not beat around the bush or make it seem simpler than it really is.
Further in the book is even more that can apply to life not only for how we treat ourselves but the people that surround us. They also talk about being in the moment. People tend to lose themselves by thinking about what they want to do next and we all forget about enjoying the NOW.
The idea of a Buddhist and a Christian getting together to teach seems like it should be impossible but the way these two authors were able to bring the anecdotes together was marvelous. I really enjoyed the different sections and both of their points of views. Since I also enjoy both aspects of learning (spiritually) I was even more intrigued and curious how they brought these two philosophies together.
When you truly love someone, they are extremely precious to you-as valuable to you as your own life. You cherish them even more than yourself. But when you are attached to people, you see them as existing in your life to fill your needs or to make you happy.
I have had many issues with love and the chapter about relationships and loving a partner (really the entire book is about love), this chapter really resonated with me. I’ve had so many questions about if I love my husband and how do I know. It seems weird since we’ve been together for 13 years but I have a screwed sense of what love is supposed to be. Learning to love myself first was a big step but understanding that I love him just as much as I love myself was huge for me. He and my daughter mean the world and it is fabulous that I was able to find the words, thanks to these wonderful authors, to express these feelings, and more importantly, to understand them.
In short: This book was fantastic. It is not just about finding the love for yourself but how to truly know love for yourself and others. A must read!