Each Monday will bring a different horror… to help you cope with the horror that is Monday with the horrors that are in the fantasy world.
Horror for Today: How to Survive a Horror Movie with Man Crates Gifts for Men!
We’ve all watched the movies where the teenagers go into the woods to drink and have sex, or the girl runs UP the stairs or peaks outside or just blatantly does something that we ALL KNOW you are not supposed to do. How about opening up a book that was buried and reading the script after realizing it is written in blood and the book is made out of flesh? Yeah? NO!!!
Man Crates Gifts for Men is trying to keep us all safe by asking what we would use in our crates to survive a horror movie. My daughter, husband, and I all got together and came up with wildly different ideas of what exactly we would want in our own Survive a Horror Movie Crates. My daughter and I are the type of people that will scream at a person in a horror movie for doing something stupid. Normally we laugh and talk back when they make dumb mistakes. At least until it gets too real and we have to save each other! Paul isn’t as much of a horror buff but I thought it would be fun to get his perspective as well!
Since I’m a fan of horror movies and have thought about being prepared for a zombie apocalypse for years, my friends and I have thought about this for a long time. We’ve had debates over what is important and what isn’t important to our survival. Here’s my list of what I think is necessary:
Tape gauze, bandaids, neosporin, bullets, wires, extra gun, alcohol (medical and not!), sewing needles, string. Extra set of clothes, communication radio, pocket knife, fire starter, matches, scrap paper and a pencil.
If I was in a horror movie I think I would take an odd assortment. I like to use odd weapons, so the first thing going into this crate are Sai’s. The are pretty short compared to a lot of knives and blades and can be used to both knock someone out or to stab them (Whatever the case calls for!). Also, we would need to think about survival, now that I have a weapon I want to be able to have necessities on hand to keep me alive for the night. Having flint and a lighter would work well. A compass would be nice too. I mean who wants to be in the woods (cause you know that’s going to happen, without a way to get out), a map would be great too! Wire and pliers would be great for various reasons.
Silver bullets with a gun that can fire them, MRE’s, and a bottle of tequila. Maybe, two bottles of tequila oh and lime to go with the tequila!
As you can see our responses differ greatly! Obviously Paul would be happy just getting drunk and passing out until the next morning (hopefully with kidneys still intact)! He doesn’t do well with horror films and is the type to hide behind the pups while we watch.
It also really does depend on what type of scary movie you’re in! While discussing this, my daughter and I figured that the scariest villain in a horror film has to be Michael Myers. It was nearly a toss up between him and Freddy Krueger but Michael seems to know how to get to someone no matter where they are at. I call him the Pepe Le Pew of horror villains! He will find you!
Don’t forget the rules of surviving a horror movie! No matter what is in your crate if you break the cardinal rules of horror movies you may not survive the night!
Man Crates Gifts for Men shared the top 10 Commandments that must be obeyed to survive!
- Thou shalt not repeatedly trip over absolutely nothing. I mean, come on!
- Thou shalt not play a “harmless” game of Oujia board to summon the dead. No, your friends aren’t pushing it.
- Thou shalt not have sex, especially in a car parked in a remote area that could be called something like “Lover’s Lane.”
- Thou shalt not drink (especially underage), or do drugs, or anything else irresponsible, like cover up manslaughter or blast loud music with headphones on.
- Thou shalt always say no (no you can’t babysit, no you wouldn’t like some tea, etc.) with one exception:
- Thou shalt not tell the hermitlike girl in school no when she musters up the courage to ask you to prom. On a related note: Be nice to everyone!
- Thou shalt not say the words “I’ll be right back” or “Who’s/Is anyone there?” or answer the phone, especially if you’re babysitting.
- Thou shalt not split up to cover more ground or be alone, ever. Especially near a door or window. A grisly hand will find you.
- Thou shalt not be curious, aka thou shalt not investigate that noise, check out the basement, or dust off an ancient book and read from it. Didn’t your mother ever tell you curiosity killed the cat? So many dead cats, man. And you should know, mother knows best, unless your name is Norman.
- Thou shalt not “ever under any circumstances” assume the killer/monster/psychopath/doll/zombie/devil is dead. If you can, blow them up. Over and over again. If you shoot or stab them once in the chest (or back) and drop your weapon in triumph, you deserve to die!
Those are the rules! Horror fans should know them by now but if you’re not a horror fan you now have a list that will help to keep you alive if you ever find yourself in a horror film! Don’t like horror? What makes this even more fun is that Man Crates Gifts for Men has a lot of crates. With the holidays around the corner this may be a fun gift for the guy in your life! Or yourself ladies! These are fun, they are not only for men!